I just taught two hours of tango where my students are ready to add another layer to their dance. One can suddenly dance much more musically than the previous lesson. The other dancer is starting to connect with energy in the dance. This can happen at any time in the dance, but these two layers are (to me) the epitome of a good, advanced follower. I know I go on about “it’s not about the moves” but it is true. If you have a follower who gives you energy and musicality and takes part in the dance as an equal member of the conversation/team, that dance feels wonderful!
Show the leader what works for you
When I follow, I use the first few moves of the dance to show my leader what size steps feel the best for ME. My goal: to make what feels good for me feel so nice to the leader that they will adjust their dance to accommodate my needs. Of course, that is my definition of a good leader :-) If I can make what I need feel the best, of course the leader will want to incorporate my needs into the dance. I need to really articulate through my feet so that the leader can feel what I am feeling.
Inspire the leader musically
As the follower, I don’t make all the decisions, but I can influence them. If I know the music well, I can suggest speeding up, slowing down or pausing without wrestling the leader for control. Again, if I feel the follower dancing their heart out to a song, as a sensitive leader, I WANT to include the follower’s musicality in my dance. As a team, we are stronger. My entire body is dancing musically, but again I need to articulate through my feet for the leader to really understand what I am offering.
Stay on your axis but send your energy through the leader
Graciela Gonzalez told a class, “Pretend you are embracing your partner, but your favorite movie star is up in the balcony behind him. Embrace that person too!” You don’t need to put your back in jeopardy and lean on the leader. The point of connecting to find how your energy connects, not act like a lead weight around the leader’s neck. Think of sending energy through the leader, not at the leader.
If leaders keep pulling you in and pinning you to their chest, you have two options. First, try to connect with energy like this. For most people, that will fix the problem because they really wanted to find that connection energetically, even if they thought it was only physical. For the people who are sure you don’t know how to dance unless you do a leaning close embrace, you need to look for more open-minded dancers to work on your connection and then come back to the pushy dancers when you can protect your body.
Give good energy even if the dance is not good
This may be the most crucial time to keep connected energetically. A difficult tanda can be hellish if a dancer gives up and tunes out. It feels awful to the partner. Saturday night, I had the class play “Blah Blah” where you dance nicely, and then tune out alternately. Everyone in the class could feel the difference. So…don’t do that on the dance floor! It’s better to end the tanda after three dances than tune out and torture the partner who is torturing you. Try to improve the dance with better energy and technique. At least give that poor dancer the gift of your presence!