Between social distancing during COVID and the new awareness of the Me-Too movement, as a dance teacher, I hear much more about how some dancers feel uncomfortable as we re-establish tango closeness. Here are a few things I find to be helpful.
Masking sensitivity
If someone is wearing a mask, you might want to consider masking up out of consideration for that person’s comfort level. I attended a milonga in Eugene over the weekend, and I was very cheered to notice that most people who danced with me grabbed a mask before asking me to dance (I was wearing a mask). I did not ask anyone to do so, and I felt respected and cared for by those who made the extra tiny effort.
As we move back out into the world that now includes COVID for the rest of our lives, we can adapt gracefully and get sick less often at dance events by masking.
Communicate about discomfort
I had three people come to me and express discomfort at one person’s behavior in my class. I spoke to that person, who both thanked me for my honesty and chose to quit class rather than engage with the dialogue. In the past, this happened very infrequently. I assume that this will happen more now that we have had serious issues in the community about inappropriate behavior. What can we do to create a healthier dynamic?
Assume that some people never knew what made you feel uncomfortable and let them know. If you don’t feel you can do that, have the teacher or organizer help you communicate with them. There is nothing wrong with turning down a dance because that person invades your space, hurts your body, or just feels unpleasant to you. However, letting them know why could eventually change their behavior. That’s a win for the community and for you.
Consider that COVID has removed close personal contact for two and a half years. Some people are desperate to touch other humans and may overstep boundaries. Some people are afraid to touch and may react more strongly than before to any feeling of boundary invasion. Put on your adult brain and see if there is a way through the situation to a better solution. Even just saying “Ack! Not used to this!” may lead to problem-solving instead of avoidance.
We are all in this together, so let’s rebuild our community with more communication and resilience.